The Purpose Of Marriage
“All these children are yours? Really? Wow~” asked one Chinese lady with a look of disbelief. During our ministry trip to mainland China, our family of eight frequently met surprised local residentsasking about our large family numbers. Given China’s previous one-child policy, which was in effect from1979 to 2015, our large family attracted raised eyebrows from passersby filled with both astonishmentand admiration. In my country South Korea, the government has implemented various policies to encourage childbearingdue to one of the lowest birth rates in the world. However, many Koreans remain hesitant to get marriedand have children. This situation contrasts with other parts of the world where people can’t havechildren due to government policies preventing them even if they desire to have children. It was a verystrange feeling to see the disparity between two opposite ends. It’s also really fun to see the reactions we get in Korea. Friends who are raising kids around the same ageas mine ask us. “Six? Wow, that’s really great! But you are not having another one?… Are you?” When using public transportation, elderly passengers frequently smile and comment upon seeing our sixchildren walking in a line, saying, “Their parents are patriots, true patriots.” Amidst the lowest birth rate in South Korea, numerous elders consider parents with more than threechildren as patriots (if you have six, you are definitely true patriots), believing that such large familiesplay a huge role in addressing the birth rate crisis. During visits to my in-laws, my mother-in-law frequently expresses her concern for her daughter’swell-being, urging me “Isn’t it about time to close the baby-making department for good?” I understandher concerns about the physical toll of multiple pregnancies and the long-term demands of child-rearing. However, why do our family’s values and lifestyle choices differ significantly from the current social normin South Korea? This disparity raises questions about our motivations, which could range from a simplelove for many children to a lack of awareness about current social trends, or maybe I am just planning tostart a huge farm with as many children as possible. People around us are naturally interested in whether or not we will continue to have more children, butthe truth is that it is not our goal to simply have as many children as possible. What we have learnedfrom the Lord is that He has his plan for each and every family. It’s not about the number whether it isone, two, or even ten, but we all need to humble our hearts before God’s plan for us. We have learnedthat lesson through five heartbreaking miscarriages, a process that has been incredibly painful. Our values on family planning have shifted in our modern world. We’ve become so accustomed to theprocess that we plan the size of our own families and there is little place to none for God. But the ideathat I can replace God’s plan with my own is really no different than the idea that I can limit andmanipulate God’s will, aren’t we essentially playing God? It’s a slippery slope. Once we start believing wecan manipulate and limit God’s will whenever we feel uncomfortable, where does it really end? It’s humbling to think about how we once believed we had total control over when and how many we’dhave children. Looking back, that idea seems so naive and even foolish. We’ve come to understand thatwe are no creators but mere creatures. We’re simply invited by the grace of God, through our love andunion, to take part in His incredible work of creation. But you know what? The privilege of participating in the work of life creation by bearing and raisingGod’s gift to us, children, is the highest purpose of marriage. It’s the most realistic purpose of marriage. And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, andsubdue it (Genesis 1:28a KJV) You might find it surprising to hear that the Bible says the purpose of marriage is to have and raisechildren. It’s natural to ask, “Isn’t the purpose of marriage to be happy ever after?” since that’s whatmost of us have been led to believe. Everyone seems to dream of romantic marriage as the path to truehappiness together with your loved one. Happiness and marriage are indeed related, but it’s crucial to understand that happiness is a fruit of amarriage, not its main goal. Ironically, people who marry with the expectation of finding happiness areoften more likely to end up feeling unhappy. Whosoever shall seek to save his life shall lose it; and whosoever shall lose his life shall preserve it. (Luke17:33 KJV) When God designed marriage as a sacred union between one man and one woman, His vision reachedfar beyond just the couple. He not only had a plan for just two people, but He saw the countless soulsthat would spring forth from this blessed covenant of marriage. He had a blueprint for the birth andgrowth of God’s holy people set apart through the sacred bond of marriage. What a wondrous testament to God’s providence! To think that the God Almighty had a plan to build upHis people from generation to generation through us is truly humbling. We can only echo the sentimentsof those great men of faith: “Who am I, O Lord, that You would choose me and my lineage to build Yourpeople?” Just as Abraham was struck with awe at the promise of countless descendants as numerous asdust (Genesis 13), and David was overjoyed at the assurance of his everlasting throne (1 Chronicles 17). People often say that we can’t take anything with us to heaven. We all know and agree that money,houses, and other tangible things won’t accompany us beyond this life. But, to our delight, there is oneexception, something we can hold, something present with us now, and something that will journey withus to heaven. My wife and I were overjoyed when we discovered this truth. Can you guess what it is? It’sour children! God has granted us the privilege of taking our holy children with