“All these children are yours? Really? Wow~” asked one Chinese lady with a look of disbelief.
During our ministry trip to mainland China, our family of eight frequently met surprised local residents
asking about our large family numbers. Given China’s previous one-child policy, which was in effect from
1979 to 2015, our large family attracted raised eyebrows from passersby filled with both astonishment
and admiration.
In my country South Korea, the government has implemented various policies to encourage childbearing
due to one of the lowest birth rates in the world. However, many Koreans remain hesitant to get married
and have children. This situation contrasts with other parts of the world where people can’t have
children due to government policies preventing them even if they desire to have children. It was a very
strange feeling to see the disparity between two opposite ends.
It’s also really fun to see the reactions we get in Korea. Friends who are raising kids around the same age
as mine ask us.
“Six? Wow, that’s really great! But you are not having another one?… Are you?”
When using public transportation, elderly passengers frequently smile and comment upon seeing our six
children walking in a line, saying,
“Their parents are patriots, true patriots.”
Amidst the lowest birth rate in South Korea, numerous elders consider parents with more than three
children as patriots (if you have six, you are definitely true patriots), believing that such large families
play a huge role in addressing the birth rate crisis.
During visits to my in-laws, my mother-in-law frequently expresses her concern for her daughter’s
well-being, urging me “Isn’t it about time to close the baby-making department for good?” I understand
her concerns about the physical toll of multiple pregnancies and the long-term demands of child-rearing.
However, why do our family’s values and lifestyle choices differ significantly from the current social norm
in South Korea? This disparity raises questions about our motivations, which could range from a simple
love for many children to a lack of awareness about current social trends, or maybe I am just planning to
start a huge farm with as many children as possible.
People around us are naturally interested in whether or not we will continue to have more children, but
the truth is that it is not our goal to simply have as many children as possible. What we have learned
from the Lord is that He has his plan for each and every family. It’s not about the number whether it is
one, two, or even ten, but we all need to humble our hearts before God’s plan for us. We have learned
that lesson through five heartbreaking miscarriages, a process that has been incredibly painful.
Our values on family planning have shifted in our modern world. We’ve become so accustomed to the
process that we plan the size of our own families and there is little place to none for God. But the idea
that I can replace God’s plan with my own is really no different than the idea that I can limit and
manipulate God’s will, aren’t we essentially playing God? It’s a slippery slope. Once we start believing we
can manipulate and limit God’s will whenever we feel uncomfortable, where does it really end?
It’s humbling to think about how we once believed we had total control over when and how many we’d
have children. Looking back, that idea seems so naive and even foolish. We’ve come to understand that
we are no creators but mere creatures. We’re simply invited by the grace of God, through our love and
union, to take part in His incredible work of creation.
But you know what? The privilege of participating in the work of life creation by bearing and raising
God’s gift to us, children, is the highest purpose of marriage. It’s the most realistic purpose of marriage.
And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and
subdue it (Genesis 1:28a KJV)
You might find it surprising to hear that the Bible says the purpose of marriage is to have and raise
children. It’s natural to ask, “Isn’t the purpose of marriage to be happy ever after?” since that’s what
most of us have been led to believe. Everyone seems to dream of romantic marriage as the path to true
happiness together with your loved one.
Happiness and marriage are indeed related, but it’s crucial to understand that happiness is a fruit of a
marriage, not its main goal. Ironically, people who marry with the expectation of finding happiness are
often more likely to end up feeling unhappy.
Whosoever shall seek to save his life shall lose it; and whosoever shall lose his life shall preserve it. (Luke
17:33 KJV)
When God designed marriage as a sacred union between one man and one woman, His vision reached
far beyond just the couple. He not only had a plan for just two people, but He saw the countless souls
that would spring forth from this blessed covenant of marriage. He had a blueprint for the birth and
growth of God’s holy people set apart through the sacred bond of marriage.
What a wondrous testament to God’s providence! To think that the God Almighty had a plan to build up
His people from generation to generation through us is truly humbling. We can only echo the sentiments
of those great men of faith: “Who am I, O Lord, that You would choose me and my lineage to build Your
people?” Just as Abraham was struck with awe at the promise of countless descendants as numerous as
dust (Genesis 13), and David was overjoyed at the assurance of his everlasting throne (1 Chronicles 17).
People often say that we can’t take anything with us to heaven. We all know and agree that money,
houses, and other tangible things won’t accompany us beyond this life. But, to our delight, there is one
exception, something we can hold, something present with us now, and something that will journey with
us to heaven. My wife and I were overjoyed when we discovered this truth. Can you guess what it is? It’s
our children!
God has granted us the privilege of taking our holy children with us into heaven, and the opportunity to
encounter our grandchildren too. It’s a profound thought that, one day in heaven, we will be joined not
only by our children but by their children’s children and many generations beyond, all gathered before
our Almighty God. This is a mission we can devote our lives to, nurturing holy descendants of God to
meet again in heaven.
In the evenings, my wife and I often find ourselves stretched out on the bed, watching our six children
sleeping peacefully. Though we’re exhausted by then, we can’t help but feel a deep sense of happiness
and joy. We still can’t fathom His amazing grace with which God has blessed us with His people right in
our own home. We’re so thrilled at the thought of our children’s children and countless descendants
joining together in the kingdom of God one day.
In today’s world, having children is often seen as challenging and burdensome, and raising holy children
in today’s world is just like “taking up your own cross.” Yet, in these times, our struggle to raise holy
children is a testament to a faith that pleases God.
We warmly invite all couples and those planning to marry to join us in this rewarding journey of faith and
action.