As the children enter the church, they are filled with excitement. It’s heartwarming to see them reconnect with friends they haven’t seen in a week. Our children join the others, sharing giggles and playtime on the premises.
As it’s nearly time to head home, we call out to our children,
“Kids, let’s go home!”
The children hear us, stop what they’re doing, and cheerfully respond with a “yes” as they dash over to us.
It may seem like an ordinary moment, but some parents watching seem surprised, asking,
“How do they just stop and come when you call them?”
We then take a moment to discuss with them the importance of children obeying their parents and offer guidance.
Parents typically have two reactions to these principles and tips. Some say, “Oh, that’s how you do it, we can do that,” while others respond, “This is too strict for us. It’s not our approach, and we don’t think we could do that.”
Do parents need to be strict to teach their children obedience? In conclusion, yes, to some degree, but more importantly, parents need to be firm rather than strict.
Whether it’s strictness or firmness, one key principle must guide parents in disciplining their children: the entire process of training and nurturing should be founded on love.
Did I just state the obvious? You might ask, “What kind of parent doesn’t love their children?” And you’re right, all parents love their children. But today, we’re discussing how much they actually express that love. There’s a difference between having love and expressing love.
As parents, we need to remind our children often with words like “Daddy loves you” and “Mommy loves you.” We should say it whenever we can and make a conscious effort to create opportunities to express it.
There’s no need to be concerned that loving your child too much will spoil them. In her book The Family Principle, Dr. Jung states:
“A child who is loved unconditionally can never go wrong. Problems emerge from loving them in the wrong way or not disciplining them properly, not from unconditional love.”
We must keep telling our children that we love them, whether they’re young, adolescents, or adults. Each time we do, we help strengthen the foundation of their character, self-esteem, and faith, healing any cracks or brokenness we are unaware of. The home is the only place where a person can find unconditional acceptance and learn that it’s okay to fail. In all other places, people are judged in some way. Thus, the home is where we can cultivate endless possibilities on the foundation of unconditional love.
As believers, we should constantly remind our children, “Jesus loves you.” While knowing that Jesus loves us is fundamental, the more foundational it is, the more it needs reinforcement. Jesus’ love is precious and a blessing to hear repeatedly. Those who have experienced Jesus’ love time and again are resilient when rebuked and are more readily led to repentance than those who haven’t. This is why building a solid foundation of Jesus’ love is so fundamental.
In our home, we love to tell our children just how much we care. I try to do it even more often, even though I already say it quite a bit.
“Jesus loves you soooo much!”
“Daddy is soooo happy to have you!”
Then I give them a big hug, and their hearts just soar. Sometimes they show their love by giggling, sometimes they hug us tightly, and other times they jump for joy!
This is how you leave the inheritance of a lovely day. There’s no better education than this. When our children experience a lovely day, they will be able to share one with others. In time, they will pass on the inheritance of a lovely day to their own children when they eventually become parents themselves.
Dad calls his children. They have been playing in the living room and their curious faces light up as they turn to him and answer, wondering what exciting news he might have.
“Yes?”
Dad beams at his attentive audience and shares the most wonderful message:
“I love you all!”
They respond with a giggle and say, “Yes, we love you too!” and keep playing.
That’s all. I just wanted to tell my children one more time that I love them, and because of that one simple expression of love from their father, they experience love. They also experience what a happy family is. They grow up to love others and be loved.
By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another. (John 13:35 KJV)